I bought a new old drill from the variety store. It's got a three-jaw chuck, a varnished wooden handle, a rose-colored butt that unscrews to reveal a super-fly set of beautiful, tiny, straight-fluted steel bits, and a fire-engine red gear to get this honey rolling. I hit it with the WD-40 and it spins like a dervish, even after who knows how long it's been stored away. I tried it on a gourd and it was like brain surgery. Just so smooth. I think I'll name it, "Christmas."
Fuck my ass, that's sexy.
And you know what I paid for it? A bunch of old romance novels and a plastic table I found in the trash.
Some days, I feel like Mario, just